


Behind Blue Eyes

by scalesxofxjustice



Series: The Seedlings [1]
Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: F/M, Insert weird awkward tag about loving and hating John Seed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 12:28:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14852750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scalesxofxjustice/pseuds/scalesxofxjustice
Summary: You always hated Edens Gate, made it your job to make sure they got what they deserved. However when it comes to John your conflicted and unsure and when push comes to shove you fight back. Even if it ends a little awkwardly for the both of you.





	Behind Blue Eyes

Seated in that horrid chair in that horrid room with red dim lighting, you looked around the torture room and swallowed hard.

 

“Dep-uuu-ttyyy” His voice echoed in your mind knowing fully well he wasn’t here anymore, but still it sent a shiver up your spine.

 

You were bound by the chair, Hudson had been taken away by John and she didn’t seem like she was doing ok. You’d said yes, yes to endure the torture. Not for Johns sake but for Hudson because you’d rather be the one to take the pain and deal with the torture then let Hudson go through whatever hell he had been putting her through. Obviously though John took it like it meant something, like you were really going to confess your sins. Heck the way he had jumped up and said Yes with so much energy just made you hate having to say yes in the first place.

 

Shame John would be waiting a while for that. Truth be told you didn’t think this far ahead, you now had to come up with a plan of escape or something like that. Looking around you could see the various blood droplets and pools here and there, a video cam recorder was set up next to a door which led somewhere. Maybe, just maybe you could shuffle your weight and move and get there and figure out a way to escape.

 

Then something else caught your attention out of the corner of your eye and it made you freeze up. At first you thought it was a demon or something, a large tall black figure that didn’t have the best posture. Then when you looked closely enough you realized with horror what you where looking at wasn’t some figment of your imagination but a real dead corpse. Strung up to the ceiling and covered in...well it looked like tight material like spandex or something but you could see the faint outline of black duct tape. Or so you told yourself while swallowing hard. 

 

Either John had some real messed up kink fetishes or it was true, he was curing human meat for the so called end of times doomsday these damn Peggies where planning on. Either way you didn’t want to know and realized time was running out as you scooted your hips with a thrust almost losing balance at first as the chair slid a little under your movement.

 

Mentally you told yourself this was a good sign, this was your way out of here as you took in a long deep breath and grunted a little and moved forward again though this time you weren’t exactly paying attention to the slippery mess of blood that pooled on the ground. The chair slipped and spun out of control but you got your balance back and huffed a little caught off guard however you where now facing in the direction of a steel door, the one John had taken Hudson through.

 

Your teeth grinded with rage, this cult was sick, everything about it made you sick no matter what people told you, this was messed up. Then all of that faded away and your hands began to tremble as your skin went ghost white. It was too late for an escape, you’d been too busy looking around rather than acting as Johns face peered through the faint window in the door before he opened it up.

 

His face was riddled with delight and pleasure as he smiled and walked towards you with that stride of his. He was practically clapping his hands in a way as he rubbed them together and approached towards you grabbing hold of the arm of the chair as his hand met your flesh. It sent a shiver up and down your spine and you leaned away from him as he got closer to you. 

 

“Now that's not where I left you” John stated and with a huff he pulled you back to where you once were.

 

Weak and unable to do or say anything, you just faintly sob in silence and hide your head from his view as you looked down at the pool of blood you’d scooted through earlier. Shame you didn’t think to smash the chair with a hard fall when you did, maybe you would have gotten free.

 

“Awe don't look so sad, you’ll see Hudson again.” His voice shot through the cold and stale air as he put a hand under your chin and forced you to look up at him. 

 

There it was again, that sadistic smile of his, the way his eyes were so soft, like a baby blue hue. If he hadn’t of gone after you with guns blazing, tried to drown you and now to top the list off, possibly torture you and your friend, he might have had himself a chance at getting with you. Or at least in your pants. 

 

Folks in Falls End mentioned a few things about John and his sexual behaviour but it wasn’t until Sharky said about fucking John did you suddenly question the relevancy of that. Heck was John even that type? You knew nothing about him besides that fact he was an evil bastard and apart of this messed up cult and he enjoyed it.

 

Yet there was something in Johns eyes that did make you doubt that John was such a ‘good preaching man’ because you swore mentally to yourself that the way his eyes looked at you, etching in every detail of your face. It was almost possible to believe that maybe apart of him didn’t know what to do with you, or maybe he was too conflicted to choose.

 

“What are you going to do to me?” You boldly say as you fight back the urge to stutter and throw up.

 

John smiled and let out a faint chuckle before he reclined back and paid attention to the table by your side. You almost forgot about the fact he had a tattoo gun right there and he was probably planning on using it to tattoo something horrible onto your skin. Though his next words made you shudder.

 

“I want you to suffer.” He firmly said as he moved aside to the table next to you where the bowl of water he’d used previously to ‘clean your chest’ was and he seemed almost faintly lost in his own track of thoughts.

 

Though if you had to guess he probably enjoyed the good view of your chest when he had cleaned you. God you hated being helpless and unable to do anything. You’d been taught to use a gun, to fight for what's right but who was fighting for you? Did anyone even notice that you were missing? It all made you feel ill on the inside and John getting right up close to your face didn’t help.

 

“I want to know all of your sins and I want to cleanse you. Don't you want that? Don't you want to be clean?” John spoke the words as if he was more so talking about your hygiene.

 

Heck the thought of John ‘cleaning you’ didn’t help at all with the reminder of what Adelaide had said about John before you came here. All that you could really recall in the moment was spanking and trust Addie to say that, god you hated the thought, hated the way your body felt like it was turning against you and you wanted to recoil away from John. Even more so with the way he looked at you and you hated him for it.

 

Because the way he looked at you was soft, gentle and tempting and it would have been so much easier to push aside any bodily desires if only he didn’t look like that, if only he made you hate him. Heck you should have been thinking about all the methods of torture he had done to Hudson, what he made her go through all because of what?

 

Then his hand rushed up and grasped your throat. At first he applied pressure and looked like he was full of rage, but when he smiled he let go slightly. The motion had you caught off guard, afraid but also relaxed when you felt him slightly ease up the tension.

 

“All you have to do is say Yes!” John repeated his little motto which he’d been boosting about none stop. 

 

In a way you felt sorry for the cultists that were under his control, because they had to listen to it all the time.

 

“No!” You sternly said grunting the words out of your mouth just as he applied pressure again to your throat.

 

“Why do you have to be so stubborn!” John said in blind fury and let go of you as he focused that rage of the bowl of water and smashed it onto the floor next to you.

 

You could feel the tiny little shards shatter and prick your leg a little bit but not enough to scratch or injure you. God he was a mess as John began to laugh like the sadistic fuck he was. You’d killed his men, destroyed his Silos and taken out that damn Yes sign and yet he was still trying to make you ‘atone’ for your sins. Then you remembered why, that night at the river just as John was going to drown you again you remember Joseph.

 

He’d said something along the lines of your atonement or redemption of some shitty christian cultist crap thing and that if you didn’t then the Gates would be closed to John. Was that what was going through his head? Was John afraid that he wouldn’t get his big brothers approval because you didn’t say yes? So much for consent and willingness. You snorted and realized immediately that was your mistake.

 

“What are you laughing at!” John got right up in your face, but this time it was more intimidating. 

 

John practically stood over you, crowded your view and blocked out the red light so that the only thing you could see was his eyes and how close he was. Your breath hitched in your chest as you could feel yourself pushing back against the chair and trying to get away from him.

 

“N-nothing” You mutter under your breath and watch as Johns expression relaxs.

 

Then he puts a hand on your head and you fear the worst. You fear not what he could do with those hands of his, but the way your body felt towards his touch. His hands were warm, soft and well cared for and you knew it was wrong but you wanted to lean into the touch. You hadn’t felt the safety of warmth or bodily touch in what felt like weeks. Heck you couldn’t even recall the last time you had sex with anyone because your mind was spinning all because of his soft touch.

 

“It's a simple three letter word.” John spoke again breaking whatever mindless fantasy that was going on in your head. “And maybe I’ll let you see Hudson again.” There it was, the smile and the way he spoke.

 

The bastard was deliberately toying with you and you wanted to question him, question if Hudson was ok, if she was still alive, if he had even laid a hand on her or his sick fucks had. Yet you didn’t, you just looked up at him and wondered if he’d infected your brain somehow with some nonsense bullshit. You heard about the experiments Jacob did and you wondered if maybe...No there was no way you would have fallen for some bullshit bliss brainwashing crap. 

 

Yet the truth was the more you held back that three lettered word, the more you made John wait and you knew he’d just lash out and hurt Hudson more and more if you refused to say yes again. God he was determined, maybe just as much as you where to get your friends back. So for now you would indulge him and play pretend knowing fully well this was fire you were playing with. As you cleared your throat and swallowed hard you could see the way the corner of his lips curled up into the faintest smile.

 

“Yes…” The word fell from your mouth with no emotion, no bitterness or rage. Nothing, you where stoic and soulless in the moment.

 

You expected him to burst out with joy just as he had before, but he didn’t and maybe that was more frightening than the way you so willingly said yes. Instead he leaned in closer to you, his hand shifted from your forehead down to your chin and you could feel his breath against your skin. That was frightening, the closer he got the more you felt uncomfortable inside your own body. The power he had over you was more than enough to try and bolt but you couldn’t, you where glued in place mesmerized looking into those baby blue eyes.

 

“That's all you had to say.” His voice was softer, almost like a whisper as you noticed his eyes drift to your lips. 

 

Suddenly you felt the sensation of his other hands thumb brush against your lip and you wanted to run and hide but your body only reacted with a twitch of the lip and you could see him smile. Pleased with the way he seemed to have an effect upon you with just the faintest touch. Then it all happened, way too fast for you to say no as his lips collided with yours.

 

They were soft, gentle and not rush, harsh or even dry. You wanted more and your brain began to swim to a fantasy land as your lips moved against one another while your heart screamed for more. It wasn’t until you felt him pull away did you suddenly realize what you had just done. Your face lit up like a christmas tree as you felt the heat rise on your cheek and the devilish look on John's face said it all as he caressed the side of your cheek.

 

“I know your sin Deputy. I know your sin” He spoke again in that soft cooing voice of his as he bit his bottom lip slightly and turned his attention to the tattoo gun.

 

‘Shit!’ you thought in your head as your eyes widened, there was no escape and you didn’t want something carved into your skin that you didn’t accept. Not just that but you didn’t even know if that tattoo gun had a clean needle in it or not. You panicked and he laughed, you froze and he enjoyed it.

 

“Lust and Wrath are your sins. They drive you, they motivatie you.” John smirked as he turned on the tattoo gun and it buzzed to life.

 

The sound made you want to crawl right out of your body, it sent shivers down your spin and you fell right into his lap. That kiss was nothing more then a trap, or was it? You were too stubborn and full of pride to let this happen without a fight. Sure you kissed him, you kissed back and wanted more but heck you were more of a fighter then a lover.

 

“Fuck you!” You suddenly sprung to life with violence as you tried to shake free. John sidestepped when you came crash down hard on the floor.

 

You’d gotten your balance off and hit the hard cement ground with a loud thud. Your ears began to ring as you groaned and rolled onto your side putting a hand to the back of your head. Then you realized, despite the dizziness, that you were now free. Quickly you got up with a huff and glared at John, John merely looked at you with those eyes of his unsure of what to do but you were sure he’d try and strangle you again. 

 

You played with fire, now it was his turn to play with it. You had no idea if there was any way out and you doubted you’d make it out in one piece with John right behind you. So instead of running and trying to hide you faced your problems head on knowing it was now or never to knock him out and try and escape, maybe he had keys on him that would unlock a door and get you to Hudson quicker. After all you couldn’t bring yourself to leave her here alone. Not like this anyway.

 

“Fuck you and your damn confessions!” You said and launched yourself at him.

 

You were small, smaller than him just a little bit but you where a force not to be reckoned with and John should have known that by now as you grabbed his arm that was coming around with a screwdriver and blocked his other hand with your other hand from prevent getting punched in the face. The struggle made John grunt and back up but you latched on and tossed in a hard kick towards the groin but he saw it coming and pulled you forward as he stepped back.

 

Falling flat on your face you grumbled and quickly tried to roll over but he had you pinned in a matter of seconds stradling over you. The look on his face was hate, rage but something else, something that made you question if he really was a monster. Even though both his hands were tightly around your throat and choking the life out of you. Kicking and trying to squirm away from him, you trashed uselessly.

 

“You little shit!” John said through gritted teeth and you could feel the vibration of his words through your bone.

 

At Least you would go down fighting rather then become one of those brainwashed idiots. Then you realized you couldn’t give up, you still have to save Hudson, you still had to save Whitehorse, you had so many people on your list of saving that you couldn’t just give up. 

 

With a palm to the face you hit John hard in the nose, hard enough to make him grumble and fall backwards. While off guard and in pain you jumped atop of John and wrapped your tiny hands around his throat. Then you stopped and looked at him with more concern then fear.

 

He was laughing, laughing in pain and you knew why and it made your blood turn cold as ice. Yes. He said his parents taught him the power of Yes by beating him. Its like he was laugh at you for your weak attempt and it made you even more angry as you pushed down on his throat and heard him gag in pain and felt his body struggle against yours. 

 

You had the upper power as he tried to sway your body and get you off balance, but you held your ground and pushed more and more on him until you felt his hands go weak around yours and yet you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You let go of his throat and heard him gasp for air and pant, but you were just the same. Panting breathlessly as you leaned back and sighed. 

 

Deep down if you killed John here and now there was no way of knowing if you would make it out alive let alone Hudson. John sat up but didn’t attack you, he just looked at you out of breath through weak eyes. If you could, you would have slapped him and gotten right up and left him here without saying a word, but you knew you were far too weak from all that fighting.

 

Maybe it was because of the bliss still running in your veins, or maybe because you had been emotionally fighting off the inevitable all this time with added on stress and panic. God you truly did hate him right now for all he had just done to you, but neither of you moved for quite some time and it felt odd almost awkward. What little strength you had wasn’t enough to fight him back, but he probably could and should have but he didn’t.

 

“Your messed in the head.” You say trying to catch your breath.

 

“I’m not the only one” John said weakly as he pointed to you. “That kiss didn’t feel very fake” John said rubbing his neck where you had left a harsh red mark from your small hands being there.

 

“Whatever” You sternly say back but its not as strong or powerful like you wished it was.

 

He just smirked and laughed at you as if this was all just a big joke. If only you could smack that look right off his face it would have made this all so worth it, but no you got the wrong end of the stick. Call it bad luck but right now you where blaming it more on your weakness...That smile of his, that smell of his, those eyes of his. Why was it that the good looking ones are always the most messed up evilest bastards out? 

 

Besides Joseph, you didn’t really like him, sure he had the body but his eyes….they looked emotionless...blank and soulless. You didn’t like that look at all and it made you uncomfortable and afraid. Afraid of the truth and the fact that you deep down knew that despite how messed up all of this was, it was very possible that someday the world would end, just not today. You were determined with your choices and the idea that today wasn’t doomsday.

 

Then John moved in closer to you and you didn’t move away, you just looked up at him and gave him a warning look. Yet truth be it was the only thing you could do right now, too weak to even raise a fist you let him close in on you as his hands cupped around your cheeks and his face got close to you. You sat with your legs open, enough for him to move in against you but he didn’t act out sexual. Not at first.

 

His lips connected with yours and you tasted the faintest bit of blood, but you didn’t care as you put her hands around his neck and pulled him in. While no one was looking you may as well just enjoy the moment, maybe it could be your get free card or maybe just another trap. Rightnow you didn’t care, you were too weak to say or do anything right now as your hands felt through the back of his hair and you felt his lips start to trail down your neck to your shoulder where he stopped for a moment.

 

“We have all sinned.” He said softly and you wanted to look at him and see the look in his eyes but you didn’t. “So I will indulge you in your sins” The way he said it, it made you shudder under his touch as he kissed you again and moved from your shoulder down to your collarbone and then to your exposed chest.

 

Somethings in Hope County are best forgotten but this...This was different as you laid back and let his hands trail over you, stripping you of your clothing, pulling down your jeans and lining your thigh with soft and playful kisses before that tongue of his ventured any closer to your weakest and wettest spot.

 

You moaned, you begged for more and he gave it, he gave it willingly and held you in his arms and kissed you without hesitation as he entered deep inside of you. It was passionate for two enemies to enjoy a moment like this and you didn’t question it, you didn’t question him or judge him as your nails dug into his back and he thrusted harder and harder bringing you closer to the edge of an orgasm only to deny you of that bliss, to taunt you and draw you into that mad look of his.

 

Yes you did the unthinkable, yes you slept with the most sadistic man probably alive, yes you wanted more and yes you wanted to stay. Yet when all was done and said and all you could do was lay there next to him on the cold cement ground and close your eyes, you finally questioned yourself. Was this what you truly wanted? The answer was yes.

 

Even though he tortured your friend and co-worker Hudson, you could see the good in him as you looked at him his peaceful face, just wrapped up in his arms as he looked right back at you. You could see he too had the same question, if this was right or wrong and you both knew the answer but you didn’t want to say it outloud incase it confirmed everything you feared. You just wanted to let this be the only peaceful moment during your time, even if the world did come to an end.

 

“Speak of this to no one, and leave and never come back or I will take from you and crave into your skin every sin before I tear it from your flesh.” The words were meant to be harsh, mean and cold, but when John spoke them it sounded like he had a sense of pity or maybe sympathy. You couldn’t tell, you didn't want to know the truth of what he meant. You just simply nodded your head and knew this was for the best, for the both of you.

 

One last time you leaned in and kissed him and he kissed you back and you got the feeling he didn’t want to let you go, he didn’t want to lose you but it was best for the both of you.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys for reading my little one shot. I didn't go into too much smutty detail so I guess its a bit of fluff but I just wanted to focus on a twisted and messed up John and a poor Dep that wants to get out alive but also try to understand their own feelings.  
> I'm planning on doing more One shots of the Seed family and Far cry 5 Characters so please feel free to let me know what you all think or who I should do next.  
> P.s I'm also going to be doing a big fanfic chap involving my far cry OC Cobra and introduce her to the world of Far cry 5 lol but that may not be for some time.


End file.
